Learning to Love
by pavinet
Summary: A chirp. A tweet. A song. Sometimes the simplest lessons are the hardest to learn. A story of love told through interlacing oneshots.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N-Hey, it's me! I finally got this fic I've been working on for a while kinda done so I figured, why not post it? Couple of things you should know before you start. For those of you reading my story for the first time, welcome! Nice to have you on board with us. We understand you have many options and would like to thank you for choosing **_**Learning to Love.**_** Old-timers, just skip straight down to the part where I explain the story-this'll just be review. **

** First off, I suck at updating. And I mean, I'm really really bad about it. I have most of this story typed up but my life is hectic and I'm a lazy person. I just don't have the time for it. So my next update could be anywhere from tonight to two weeks from now. Sorry, it's just how I roll.**

** Second, don't flame me. All you'll get is a very sarcastic reply back. If you have something to say, say it nicely or just go read a different story. Trust me, I understand your pain. I've come across stories with horrendous spelling that hurts my eyes. Know what I do though? I take a deep breath, wonder why spellcheck is such a difficult concept to grasp and then I leave, instead of flaming. Believe me; most of the authors on this sight are at least twelve or older. If they haven't realized that spellcheck is a vital part of a story, they're not gonna listen to you.**

** Third, I am big on angst. There is a lot of heartache in this story and it gets pretty heavy most times. If that's not your thing, you're in the wrong story.**

** Lastly, I like reviews. Please review and tell me how I'm doing. **

**This is a break**

**And now for the summary…**

**This is a story of interconnected oneshots crossing four storylines and three pairings. It is canon all the way up to the end of Spirit Bound where it takes a different path because, no offense to any die hard Last Sacrifice fans out there, but I think Mead could have done better. This spans all the way from the beginning of Janine and Abe's meeting to about where Last Promise finishes. **

**The first story line is that of Janine and Abe-Their love, their parting, and their rekindling. It is the story of hopeless love and parting. Their heartache, their pain. The daughter they shared but never saw grow up.**

**The second storyline delves into the complicated relationship between Rose and her parents. How they began, how they fell apart, and how, ultimately, they learned to forgive. **

**The third follows, naturally, Dimitri and Rose. How a silent Russian warrior with no room for love came to be with a girl, wise beyond her years, who was just so sick and tired of loving and losing.**

**The final storyline is a series of vinettes that follow the pattern of the story. It traces the lives of two birds. See if you can guess which bird is which character.**

**Here we go! I hope you enjoy! ...Wow, this author's not is nearly as long as the entire paragraph**

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**Learning to Love**

_"It is only through losing it that we learn what love is"_

A chirp. A tweet. A song. The bird on the branch sings, perched on the few sparse trees found in the death of winter. Another bird lands, a miracle appearing through the unforgiving climate. Together they sing.

This town is colder now, the rare vegetation already patched with snow. But warmth can still be found, the local bar is open for the night. An elegant wave leads the way, a man's expensive boots clack against the pavement on their way to a heated fire. The doors slam open, heels clomp to the back. Heads turn at the gust of frigid wind, turn back to the monotony of winter in Russia. The man heads to the back room and leans against the counter.

"Ibrahim Mazur," he states disinterestedly, his fingers tracing the grainy pattern of wood. The sycophancy begins; the sickly sweet tone of the concierge makes his teeth hurt as he is ushered into an elevator, concealed behind hollow wooden panels.

Abe is a simple man. Simple but dangerous. Most know better than to cross him, else they find themselves suddenly lacking a vital organ. Things have a way of just happening around him, trouble has a way of finding him. Still, Abe is here for a different reason; just to stay the night before moving on to his next destination. A warm bed to sleep in, perhaps a warm body to share it with.

She is young, fresh out of guardian school, here for her first day off of work. Her curly red hair bounces as she turns, eyes darting and taking note of any possible threat. A guardian, Abe notes with a smirk. That wariness in her eyes is almost too familiar. He has left his own guardians behind. He does not need them; rather, he hires them for intimidation. Abe may not be a Royal, but he is not an easily forgotten Moroi.

This guardian is different; her lithe frame embracing the wall she leaned against. His stomach flutters, butterflies flap their wings. He squashes the feelings, he doesn't need them. The boots pick up their stride once more.

Janine Hathaway is going places. Everyone who sees her praises her dedication. If only there were more like her, they all say. But behind that emotionless mask, there is a person. A person who, for the first time, is learning what love is. Janine Hathaway has heard of Ibrahim Mazur, listened to stories of his more infamous exploits. She should know better than to get mixed up with him. But with his dark intense gaze fixated on her, she just can't seem to help herself.

_They called him crazy to promise himself to her. They called her a fool to believe him. But a man lost cannot be expected to be sane. They were crazy fools but they were in love._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N-Well, here's the next chapter. A little bit of Rose, Abe and Janine family interactions for all of you. To tell me if it's over the top cause I do see Abe as a loving father, just misguided. I tried to portray that here, where the family breaks up for the first time. It's short but that's for a good reason. Enjoy! and Review!**

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**Learning to Love-Chapter Two**

_"It is only in love that a heart learns to break"_

Under the nest, which is sheltered in a birch tree, a house stands, lit up by the sun. A man clomps up to the door and rings the doorbell. His heavy coat is stained red, his knuckles are bruised. His face is worn, telling the story of a victor.

It is spring now and the flowers are beginning to bloom. He stares at the rose bush then reaches down to pick one, wincing at the thorns. For him, the pain is worth it to see the smile on his little girl's face. Abe prided himself on being a solitary man, but one glance into her innocent eyes and he was sold.

A squeal rings through the house. Footsteps patter up to the door, an excited voice chattering the way there. The door opens, a tired set of eyes meet his, the bright red curls dampening from the dew.

"Daddy!" Rosemarie leaps into his arms. At two years old, Rose was ready to prove herself to the world, leaving her mother to clean up the mess left behind. Her latest feat had involved a large leap from the top of the roof into a waiting trampoline. The result left her with a broken wrist, which failed to deter her. Not that her dad helped; unconventional as always, Abe was proud of the tenacity his daughter showed at such a young age. Rosemarie would not be like most, he was sure of this.

"Hey baby girl. Did you have a good day?" He asked as he spun her around in a circle. Rose giggled and pounded on his chest, her signal for him to put her down. He hands her the flower and she clutches it to her chest. Her mother pats her on the back in an effort to hustle her off to bed. This is their daily routine. Abe comes home late and then they both put their daughter to bed.

Once Rose is safely tucked into bed, Janine turns to Abe with a resigned look. He knows that expression and sits down in anticipation for the upcoming lecture.

"Really Abe? Again?" She asked. She is upset, that much is obvious to Abe. He doesn't understand why.

"You know why I do this. Why I have to do this. Why is this such a big deal?" He asks. Janine's eyes flash.

"It may not be now, but what about Rosemarie? What about when she gets older? What am I supposed to tell about you? How do I tell her the reason her father comes home with blood on his jackets is because he's the leader of the vampire mafia? I can't do that," She responds heatedly but her fire fades at her last statement and she collapses into broken sobbing. Abe scoots over and embraces her gently.

But Janine is right. Rose is two but she will get older. Right now, she doesn't understand why Daddy's shirts are always red or why he comes home with bruises every night. She doesn't care, Daddy loves her and that's all that matters. But soon she'll wonder and she'll want to know. Janine doesn't want to be around for that.

"I'm leaving," She states blandly raising her head. Her sobs have subsided but her eyes still have a red shade to them. Abe glances at her confused.

"Alright, but why now? Can't we wait a few months?" He asks her. But something is stirring within him; an uneasy feeling rises to the surface. Janine shakes her head.

"Not we. Me and Rose," She intones firmly. Abe looks at her as comprehension dawns on his face soon followed by panic.

"What? Why?" His words are punctuated by an edge of hysteria. He can't lose them, can't lose her.

"You won't change Abe. I know that now. You still don't understand and I don't think you ever will. Rose needs as normal a childhood as she's going to get and she won't find it here. We're leaving, this time without you," Janine says with a hint of sadness. Another sob breaks free as Abe falls to his knees. She loves him but she knows that sometimes love isn't enough. She has abandoned her duty for far too long.

That night, as one life is born, another is irrevocably changed. Rose spends the first months in a constant state of denial, refusing to believe that she will never see Daddy again. Finally though, her childish grip relinquishes its hold on her father's memory and she loses all sight of her life in Russia.

Janine returns to work, throwing herself into the familiar oblivion of guarding, blocking out everything that reminds her of what she has left, including her now four year old daughter.

Far away, in the barren landscapes of his home, a man holds a silent vigil for everything he has lost. He will not let himself forget.

But memories are fading for a four year old-St. Vladimir Academy's newest recruit. It is time for her to grow up.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Hey! So here's the next update. Thanks for all the lovely reviews...I know this is a ridiculously angsty story and the chapters are super short but...hey, I do have a life other than Fanfiction. True, it's not much of one but I still need to take care of it. Anyway, here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy cause we start getting into Rose vs. Janine a bit. In case you're wondering about the quotes at the beginning, that's just my cynical mind spitting out what comes naturally. Well, this should be fun and I'm not going to bore you to tears so...Review!**

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**Learning to Love-Chapter Three**

_"They say to love like you'll never be hurt...But what happens if you are?"_

A tweet. A chirp. A fledgling's feathers are beginning to grow. In a few weeks, he will be ready to fly. It is summer now; the trees are in full-out bloom, the landscape transformed into a lush green. He tries a tune, full of expectation and promise. His nestmates soon join in. Together they sing.

Below him, a girl waits on a staircase. Her expectations have long since failed her, promises broken for far too long.

All parents leave their mark on their children. Some spoil, some stretch, and some break. At eight years old, Rose has learned this truth all too well. It had been four years since Janine Hathaway left her child on the imposing doorstep of the academy. She had not looked back since.

The first time her mother came to visit, Rose waited all night and all morning to see her. Her mother was on time and waiting with open arms. Back then, Rose lived her days craving those visits, drifting through the days till the next one. But they began to grow far and few as Janine immersed herself further into her work.

Rose waited a full week, teeming with anticipation to see her mother. Janine arrived late and only had time to give Rose a quick and rushed hug. Still, Rose treasured that hug for months to come. Now, almost a year later, Rose sat on the church steps waiting for her mother.

A shadow made her look up; Alberta stood before her. One look at her face told Rose what she needed to know. Janine Hathaway was not coming. The apologetic expression on Alberta's face only made it worse as Rose got up to leave the chapel. On her exit, Alberta's hand caught her wrist.

"Rose, I'm sure she's just busy. She'll be here for the next time," Alberta said weakly. A glance at Rose made it perfectly clear that she wasn't convincing anyone. Rose simply shrugged her hand off and turned back towards the empty dorms. She flopped down on her bed and cried bitterly for the remainder of the day.

As the new dawn broke, so did Rosemarie's heart. As the sun rose, she promised herself that these would be the last tears she ever shed for her mother. And so, Rose stopped waiting for her mother. She stopped looking forward to those visits, stopped caring about the updates the guardians sometimes gave her if they were in the mood.

When Janine arrived at the academy the following year to check in on Rose, she was surprised to find an empty room greeting her. When she inquired later, she was informed by an apologetic Alberta that Rose had left two days earlier with Valissa Dragomir on their family vacation. There was no doubt in Janine's mind that Rose had known her mother was visiting. Rose just simply no longer cared.

Janine Hathaway had left a very special mark on her child. As Rose grew older, she began to seal off her heart from all others who could cause it potential harm. Janine Hathaway had taught Rose that love only equaled disappointment. And Rose was sick and tired of being let down.

Loving someone was like giving them the means to destroy you but trusting them not to. Life had shown Rose that she couldn't trust anyone with her heart, not even her own mother.

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A chirp. A tweet. It is fall again, the trees are going bare and two birds have outgrown their nest. A fledgling's feathers have grown at last; he is ready to learn to fly. He will do this on his own; his mother is long since gone. Still, the thought of her cannot damper this moment. He lines up, toeing the wall and soars off it. A steady plummet later and he loses his nerve. Luckily, instinct works to recover what he lacks and his wings catch the air. He floats, and then hesitantly flaps. He calls to his friend, the only other surviving nestmate. They are flying! He opens his mouth to taste the air. Together they sing.

Below the nest, two girls stumble drunkenly through the orange-gold carpet that coats St. Vladamir's. Leaves rustle as they walk, one pair of steps louder than the other.

"Rose!" Lissa squeals as Rose clutches her arm gently. There is no question that Lissa is wasted, her slurred speech is enough indication. Rose sighs, and begins to guide Lissa back to her dormitory. This is only one of many nights to follow with the same monotonous schedule. End of classes means, for most, party-time. The two of them will sneak out and get drunk, Lissa far more than Rose. At sixteen, Rose is rising to her sense of duty, remaining partially sober to protect Lissa.

But that same sense is overshadowed by the clouds of bitterness that has fogged her view of guarding. Janine's example had made it very clear to Rose that _they_ came first, even before Rose. And so, Rose makes every effort to flout this belief in her own way. She acts out; she disobeys the rules. Janine's actions have molded her daughter's.

Lissa reaches up to straighten Rose's collar which has bunched up on one side. She fails and trips over a tree root. "So who is it this time? Dane Volkov? I saw you an' him talking earlier," She slurs. Rose gives her a snide look.

"No one, if your highness must know. He wouldn't shut up about himself. How am I supposed to enjoy kissing someone if their mouth won't stop moving?" She says with a snort. It is no secret to either girl that Rose has not lasted in a relationship with anyone for more than a week. Lissa's naivety convinces her that Rose is just having fun. Rose knows better. She will not trust anyone with her heart. The romantic flings remind her that she is unattached, free from the pain that comes along with a broken heart.

"You don't have to kiss. I'm sure there are other ways you can spend your time," She suggests with a wiggle of her eyebrows. The innuendo does not go unnoticed by Rose who rolls her eyes, a gesture that goes unnoticed by Lissa.

"I'm not you and Aaron. Besides, I don't need to get some to keep me happy," Rose says in a carefree manner, a slight jibe at Aaron who has been complaining lately. Lissa scowls, the alcohol working to make her brave.

"Yeah? Well, at least I get some," Lissa bites back, glare apparent. A gust of wind blows, carrying away Rose's response to the comeback. Their pattering steps fade into the distance. As far as the two girls know, tomorrow's hangover is the worst they will have to face this school year. But their problems are just beginning.

In the shadows, a connection is stirring as the bond begins to take hold. Already, Rose is feeling the effects, flashes of Lissa's emotions in strange scenarios. She brushes it aside; god knows she doesn't need any more problems to deal with. But she cannot run from her fears for long. In the dormitories, a teacher paces; her carpets have worn away from paranoia. And in the distance, a bird caws. A raven is calling for her young.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Omigod! I haven't updated in so long...This is just pathetic-even for me. I am so sorry to anyone whose actually been following this story. My life's gotten really busy lately and I just didn't have the time and I was exhausted so I didn't update. Sorry once more. I will try to get the next chapter up by the end of this week but no guarantees. Anyway, we're back to Janine's pov here so enjoy! Don't forget to Review!  
**

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**Chapter Three**

_"Have you ever been in love? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."-Neil Gaiman_

A chirp. A tweet. A bird perches on the bare branch in the middle of winter. Another flies down next to him, his old nestmate. They have not left each other's sides since flight, too afraid of large world that awaits them. His voice rises, she joins his chorus. Together they sing.

The window next to them slams shut. Lord Slevesky would like to sleep; the chirping of birds has awoken him too early. One floor below him, Janine Hathaway stares at a computer screen. She has not slept all night.

_They've found the princess. _She had only stared at him blankly when the guardian had informed her. Why did another spoiled runaway brat matter to her? The only missing person she cared about was nowhere to be seen; Rose had been very skilled at hiding herself from prying eyes.

Then the guardian had told her the news had brought her to her knees. They had found her daughter with the princess. Suddenly, she couldn't know enough. The guardian revealed that the retrieval mission had been scheduled for this morning. She had been at the computer since, waiting for the news. Her computer pinged, the screensaver going light. Within seconds, Janine had opened the email and greedily read the words in contained. When she finished she leaned back in her chair and just laughed. Rosemarie was alright.

Then a new problem struck Janine. What was she going to say to her daughter? Rose knew better than what she had shown, or at least Janine had thought so. Then again, she mused cynically, it wasn't like she knew. Janine knew perfectly well that she had neglected Rose for much of her young life. She had no delusions about the fact that Rose was more than just resentful about it. However, if Janine wanted to be fair, she had turned her back on Rose for these past few years as well. Her petty actions were fueled by her wounded pride, underserving anger for Rose's retaliation.

Janine knew it was her fault. In the beginning, she hadn't been willing to try or remember what she and Abe had shared. She'd left Rose behind for her blissful silence and Rose had never forgotten it. Now it was too late to mend what she had lost, too late to apologize to her daughter.

Rose would no longer believe anything from her mother, would no longer trust her. But Janine was sorrier than Rose would ever know and she couldn't do anything about it. So Janine chose the only response she knew Rose would accept.

She turned to the computer, typed and clicked send. Miles away, in an empty dorm room, a lonely girl opened an email, unable to see the emotion behind it. She read it then stormed off in a bitter rage. Her mother had proven once again that she really couldn't give a damn about Rose.

The computer monitor blared, the message lit up by the bright tiny screen.

_I'm glad you're back. What you did was unacceptable._

A chirp. A tweet. A spring melody. The little fledgling has grown up, and he and his nest mate are growing farther apart. She has found another bird to keep her company. He has yet to try. He begins his morning routine, full of unexplainable hope. Above him, another bird joins in, matching his tune. Together they sing.

Her step is lighter, her eyes are eager. It is the subtle signs that betray the heart. She has yet to realize, but her heart has made the fall. Someway, somehow, her ice armor has cracked and he has wormed his way in. She doesn't understand why her knees go weak around him and her breath is stolen. But she is slowly beginning to comprehend.

Lissa talks of her boyfriend and Rose listens, feeling the foreign emotions the whole time through the bond. She compares the symptoms, the strange impulses he induces. The way she can't form a single coherent thought around him only solidifies her theory. Rosemarie Hathaway, the ice queen, has fallen in love.

Alarm bells mask the sound of angel's chorus. Rose is furious with herself. She should know better, her heart should have known better. The breach is registered; the backup security kicks while Rose works on rebuilding her walls with fragile excuses.

_Come on, Rosemarie. He's your freaking teacher. He'll never want you like that. Love only means pain and pain is bad._ Her futile excuses allowed her a few moments of peace before her head lost the battle. When it comes time for flight or fight, the heart is always the first to turn traitor.

That night, a lonely girl wages war in the solitude of her bedroom, but her defenses have crumbled. Janine's actions have left open wounds that refuse to close, still as raw as the day they were formed.

Across the campus, an empty man fights a battle of his own. Experience has warned him against loving but has not shielded him from his heart. Yet, something in him calls to her, recognizes her soul as his.

After all, one drowning man can recognize the signs of another who is going under.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N-Yeah, I know...It's been forever since I've even looked at this story, let alone updated it. My life has been ridiculously crazy and I've been deal with personal issues lately. But hey, if you're one story alert, today is your lucky day. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Review when you're done, it really makes my day.**

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**Learning to Love-Chapter Five**

_"Love is like quicksand. Falling in is easy...Climbing back out of it? That's the hard part."_

A chirp. A tweet. A bird has realized his stalker. He sees his nest mate around but no longer spends every moment with her. The bird behind him has taken that place. He perches on a branch and she lands next to him. The trees are once again bare for the winter. He turns to look at his companion. Together they sing.

Below them, an angry girl storms through the snow. Her mother has arrived, and as per usual, Rose's mood has hit an all-time low. The appearance of her mother have picked at old wounds Dimitri has worked hard to close.

But more importantly, it reminds her of what she lost when Janine gave her up. It reinforces her walls, hers belief that she was never good enough to love. And without Dimitri here to soothe her fears, they grow to become her truths.

Not that Dimitri was helping the situation by any means. He was instilling a feeling of rejection within Rose after the training room fiasco. The familiar wall of ice was beginning to close around her heart once more.

On the other side of the campus, Janine stalked through the double doors leading to the suite she shared with Lord Slevesky's other guardian. The receptionist offered her a weak smile and pointed hastily in the direction of her room. Most knew better than to aggravate an angry Hathaway. If Janine was anything like her daughter, he did not want to be around to witness it.

Janine was upset, understandably so, but also hurt by her daughter's rejection. It wasn't fair to say she had expected anything less of Rose, but that didn't make it sting any less. Regret was a funny thing. It seemed that no matter how much she had, no amount would convince Rose that she was willing to mend. As far as Rose was willing to learn, those bridges were long burned and it was too late to put out the fire that scorched the threads of their relationship.

Janine stared at the mirror, at the woman that stared back at her. What had her life really come to? The only man she had ever loved, she had left behind in the unforgiving iciness of winter. That house stood crumbling in her memories, demolished in Rose's, both minds desperate to forget the pain. Those were happier times, when her reputation hadn't mattered, when all that she needed was Abe's love. But she had left that behind, regretting it ever since.

She and Abe still had brief encounters over email, always about the daughter she had forced him to abandon. But she would not let him see her and she wondered. How much of her refusal was truly in the name of Rose's safety? Perhaps she forbade him out of petty jealousy. She knew Rose would forgive her father; after all, it wasn't his fault he had been absent for most of her life. No, it was hers. Janine hated the fact that she had ruined all chances with Rose. And she refused to let Abe enjoy what she never would. Their daughter's love.

She glanced at herself again. Was it worth it, living this life as an empty shell, just to save herself the pain? She knew in her heart that it was not. Her regret would not let her believe otherwise.

The chattering of voices below disrupted her contemplation; she turned to observe the group of children passing below her. In the center, a blond girl shook her curls to rid herself of the snow before returning her gaze to the Damphir accompanying her. The boy began to reply before his instincts kicked in. Years of training alerted him to the presence of another pair of eyes watching them. He glanced up at Janine, the girl following his gaze. Recognition flashed through her eyes, then anger. Janine whirled away from the window, the hate in the girl's glare at the forefront of her mind.

She knew those violet eyes. How could she not? Everyone in the guarding world knew the Dragnomir princess after she had disappeared for over two years. Her unique specialization had made her famous amongst the Royal Moroi. But Janine had a more personal reason to recognize the princess; she was the Moroi that her daughter was bonded to. A bond was legendary, the origin was still unknown. All Janine knew of it was that the bond connected her daughter to this Royal Moroi. But this revelation certainly explained the loathing in her gaze. Janine was not welcome as far as Rose's friends were concerned.

In the shelter of a snowy tree, Dimitri Belikov looks out over the frozen lake. Tasha Oreza has left her skates behind, a silent offer, leaning against a tree on the opposite bank. The tree is the only thing untouched by snow, instead displaying inexplicable dewdrops as an example of Tasha's fiery prowess. But he does not care for the display, his mind in a different place; a training gym has suddenly become his paradise. He doesn't understand why, only that he does.

No one can explain the whims of the heart. But love is strange, forbidden for him as well as her, not just because of their age difference. Rose is young and determined, with a bright future. He refuses ruin that. Dimitri has a duty to adhere to, one that prohibits love. He will not endanger his or her career.

Tasha Oreza represents his way out of this endless cycle of repetition. He cannot push Rose away for much longer without cracking his already fragile control. He does not care for Tasha as more than a friend but he supposes, in time, affection will come. For now, he must forget Rose and how she makes him feel. It will not be easy, no one has seen through his barriers that easily. Not even his family has understood that crushing guilt that threatens to overwhelm him on a daily basis. Regardless of his emotions, he must make the best choice for the both of them.

Sighing, he trudges over to other back and wraps his hand around the laces of the skates. Throwing them over his shoulder, he begins the first step in the long life of loneliness he has committed himself to.

That night, as two hearts harden, another despairs. After all, a journey of good intentions is often lined with regret.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- ...Yeah, it's been a while. And to be honest, most of it was just being lazy but Hey! I'm here now. So here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for your patience!**

**For the next chapter, I'd like to remind everyone that I own none of the actual dialogue-That's taken right out of _Frostbite. _**

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**Chapter Six**

_"Know why they call it a crush? Because that's how you feel when he doesn't feel the same way"-Anonymous_

A chirp. A tweet. A bird flies solo once more. The winter has set in fully now, and the bitter cold reaches through his downy feathers. Behind him, a pitiful keening echoes through the howling wind. He stops and turns his head around, facing the source. His stalker had returned.

On a snowy branch, two birds huddle together, reeling in each other's warmth. The silence has become unbearable, he chooses to break it and she joins in. Together they sing.

* * *

The blue glass swings on the fragile chain, pacing the nervous steps of its carrier. Janine Hathaway can only hope that this gift will help her mend her relationship with Rose. There is no guarantee that Rose will accept it, only a mother's intuition that Rose needs her as much as Janine needs her daughter's love.

Rose may never know the significance behind the nazar, the evil eye in Janine's palm. That is fine with her; Janine will tackle that insecurity later. For now, she is pacified with the thought that her daughter will at least have something of her father's, even if she does not recognize the significance. This was Abe's parting gift to her, a spell to guard her and Rose. It has served her well, kept her inner demons at bay for long enough. She can only hope that it will do the same for Rose.

A knock…An answer…Rose is surprised. Why? Has Janine been absent, that cold and unforgiving? She knows the answer to that. But she is here to fix her past mistakes.

She hands over the present…Rose accepts with almost disbelieving grace. Perhaps there is hope for them…The dress in the corner catches her eye…A comment…A compliment…The conversation digresses from its course…She mentions Rose's mentor…A bitter voice rises…This conversation is over.

Janine knows that look, she knows that pain. Her daughter is in _love_. And with her twenty-four year old mentor no less. She doesn't want to believe it, believe that Rose could be this foolish. But she cannot judge, reminding herself of a time when she had done the same. So she twist the knife in a little deeper, speaking of the happy couple Tasha and Dimitri would make. Janine reminds Rose of her duty, reminds her of what she cannot give Dimitri. Rose's hoarse dismissal confirms that she has done her job.

She knows what she has said is cruel but she knows better than her daughter. It is best that Rose gets over this silly childish crush before she gets in any deeper. The pain will only be worse when it comes time for the inevitable. Janine is only trying to spare Rose from the pain that Janine has come to know so well. The search for a _Happy ever after_ always ends in disaster in a world where you don't come first.

* * *

A chirp. A tweet. A different winter now; the birds will not fly south anymore. He has remained with his companion, desperate for the warmth she provides. The music grows louder below him and he feels compelled to join in. His companion follows his lead. Together they sing.

A different kind of scene awaits those who meet below the trees. An angry redhead storms out of the room into the hall, dragging her teenage daughter behind her. Two irrational minds race at the speed of light, beyond the reach of understanding.

Janine Hathaway has only part of the picture, but that is all she needs. She has seen Rosemarie and Adrian, seen Adrian's lustful expression and lost it. Within them, she sees the past, the mirror images of her and Abe. She will not let history repeat itself.

Rose snaps back at her and she responds _appropriately_. Five minutes later, she has stormed off, angry at the situation. Janine stares hopelessly after her. She knows whatever progress she has made with Rose, she has just erased.

Dimitri watches from the shadows as Rose storms through the doors. An internal debate sparks underneath him. To follow Rose would crumble his defenses, make his goal of avoiding her impossible. But his heart refuses to obey, his feet move forward of their own volition.

She shivers. He sits down beside her, and shrugs off his coat.

"You must be freezing," He murmurs, staring at the rising sun. It does not affect him the way it affects the Moroi, one of the few benefits of walking both worlds. She follows his stare, the rays of sunlight already beginning to warm the snow around him.

"The sun's out." Her longing look mirrors his desire. Few guardians were given the chance to enjoy the sun, a downside of swearing their lives to vampires who found the sun painful. For the first time in a long time, he questions his duty. What good has come out of his sacred mantra, every guardian's sacred mantra?

"My life is a disaster," she finally says. His brain switches to autopilot for a few seconds as he responds with an instinctual negatory rebuttal.

The conversation continues down this path as he realizes how much these past few weeks have aged them both. Silence falls upon them both as he contemplates his decision to accept Tasha's offer. He would rather live his life without love than live with another life weighing down on his head. Especially since Rose is infinitely more important to him than Ivan was. That admission stings with guilt, but he knows it is the truth. Then she breaks the suffocating silence.

"You should take it." His head snaps to her in shock, certain he has heard her wrong.

"What?" His shock has reached into denial. As she speaks, he barely registers her words. All he knows, all he has believed is beginning to crumble around him.

She leaves, the enigma of her parting words hardly disturbs him. Once again, Rose has confounded him, surpassed all his expectations. He shouldn't be surprised, Rose has a way of getting to the heart of what troubles him. Her words from the gym echo through his head.

_You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me. _Wasn't that what he was doing now? The loss of control Rose kindled within him terrified. He was running, just like he had after Ivan's death. Tasha was just an excuse, a reason to justify his fear. Dimitri Belikov was nothing more than a coward and he hated it. Not enough however, to change his mind.

* * *

But life is neither kind nor fair to most and Rose is no exception. As she mourns her friend, she seeks comfort in her mother, determined to become independent of Dimitri. Janine is elated that Rose needs her but saddened by the events that have led to this. But she does not care about the reasons that Rose sought her out, only that she can finally mend her relationship with her daughter. She had hoped Rose would not have to experience this until she had graduated. Killing Strigoi is never as glorious as the Moroi make it out to be. Behind every pair of red eyes is a lost soul, one that can never be regained.

Back in his room, Dimitri sets his phone back on the table. He has made his decision but he cannot follow through. Tasha Oreza will be disappointed-it appears Rose's noble sacrifice has not been in vain. He slings his jacket over his shoulder and heads out the door to meet Rose. For the first time in a long time, Dimitri is not running from his problems.

Rose had told him their love was worth fighting for and it was high time he followed that advice.


End file.
